You know darlings,its not dat i dowana wanna cry,or be strong infront of you people.. I noe u guys are just concerned about wats happening to me and all... but the ting is,im nt good in crying infront of people,be it my frens ,closest frens or someone i just noe. Im just nt comfortable dats all.. Its not because im acting tough but i just can't. I wanted too,but i wuden wan u guys to tink dat im just an attention seeker or something. Ouh well,the moral of the story is,i kent cry infront of u people.. dats all.. :)
Hmmm,another thing is,i kept asking to myself,why is all this happening to me?? What rong have i done to him,to deserve this kinda treatments?? Why must he lie? Why must he kept soemthing important from me?? Why must he do this to me?? But then agen,there must be reasons why he did all this right?? I was thinking to myself all sorts of reasons he kud have.. such as, mayb he lied because he dazen wanna hurt me? Or maybe because he thinks dat its best if i din noe aniting so dat i wont get hurt? Or mayb because he just wanna have fun...? I dont noe.. there are all sorts of diffrent reasons dat came to my mind but then the onli reason dat i tot of and the onli reason dats been in my mind is he lied. And thats it. No more reasons,or nomore things left ot sae.. He lied and dats it. I kent trust someone hu lied to me,over and over again eventho i noe and i kent deny that im still in love with him,but those things that he has done to me,i kent fergive him.. maybe not just yet. I just kent belif someone whom i trusted soooo much and someone whom i love so much could do this to me... I wanted to cry,and i wanna get over it so bad dat ive tried dating and ive tried hating him,but i just kent. Am i bein stupid?? Am i dumb enaough to be thinking of him still rite now?? Some people mite think dat i shud move on and nt think of him animore.. Well trust me,its easy said then done darlings.. Ive tried,but mayb nt nt hard enough..but i did try! And someone keep saying that time heals the pain.. But look,if time heal the pain den when is it gona heal my pain? Its been months since we broke up,and yet nto a single love fer him has fade.. Now tell me,when?? I kent wait any longer u noe.. Sometimes i just feel like i kent move on. Like he has taken all my entire life awae frm me eversince dat dae we broke up.. Yes,there are guys hu likes me,there are guys hu wanna be with me,there are also guys hu ask me to give dem chances,but hw am i gina give them ani chances if i know that i still am stuck wid this feelings fer my ex?? I kent lie to them tell them dat i like dem wen im nt.. I kent give dem false hope,when i noe i wont be happi wid them.. Tell me wata do?? Coz im seriously at lose... :( I'm not sure fer how loing this gona take but what i noe is taht i kent get over him just yet.. My mom keeps tokin about him.. My mind keeps thinking of him... I really,badly wana move on and nt think of him but i kent.. Mayb its nt the rite tiem yet huh?? But how much longer must i wait?? :"( I dono why i kept thinkning of him after wat he's done to me.. LOVE is indeed blind eyy?? :"( I told myself dat i wont cry fer him animre but guess what?? Im crying right now.. Hahaha! :"( Im not sure why but i just feel so emotionaly disturbed by all thats happening rite now.. And i just wanna cry.. Haiz... This has to stop i noe but all those memories we've had and we've shared,those are just priceless..:"( I kent stop thinking of all those happy moments we've had.. :"( Everytime i thinkk if it,tears just keep flowing down these cheeks.. :"( I love him i do,but i kent accept him back in my life.. Is it wrong fer me to be in love wid him still?? I dont noe at all.. :"( I really felt so lost! Ouh GOD,help me get through this once and for all..cos i kent help myself to not think of him... :"( Is it wrong?? Im all out of words,and im so lost wothout him i kent lie... But i have to be strong! Yes! I have to be strong! :") Its time to move on now aye?? Sometimes i just wish that all guys would understand what we girls feels,what our hearts are saying and what we want from them... :") Is it that hard??
Cute izen he.. :") Loadsa love owaes....
Muhd Hamizan Salleh,sometimes i just wish that you'd read this. Sometimes i just hope that you'll understand what i want and how i feel... Mayb i din realise the wrong things dat ive done until u were forced to do this to me.. I dont blame you fully fer what has happened,but sometimes,i just wanna hate you but i kent. Mayb theres something wrong dat ive done to you,mayb i din noe what you want... but trust me,ive given you the best ive ever had,ive given you all that ive had,its just stupid enough huh to be giving my whole entire trust to a guy knowing that one dae they'll end up breaking them.. I still do love you tho,but each time i look at u,ur face,i dont feel the chemistry that we used to have. I dont and i kent feel the calmnes wenever i look at ur face once upon a time.. All i kid think of is what you've done to me,and all those lies dat you've kept telling me.. You told me afew weeks ago that you've changed and dat i still dont trust you,the thing is,ive tried. I really have,so hard,so bad. I wanted to trust you again. I wanted to give you that one last chance,but honey,i kent. I kent do it. LOVE itself wont make us happy if we dont have any trust in each other.. Muhd Hamizan Salleh,im sorry,but i just kent accept you the wae ive had accepted you 2 years ago.. All i have fer you now is LOVE without any trust.. Actually ive tried trustiing you agin,and ive done it actually. But when soemthing happensand taht post in your FB,its just make me realise that i kent do dis animore.. I kent keep doin this. I kent help myself but think what if i were to give in and give u one last chance,wud you keep on lying to me?? I kent risk my love fer you agen you noe.. i have to be strong and tell myslef to stop it and move on.. I kent do it. And i noe,you've moved on,and ive yet to move on,but baby,you're actually the ferst ot make me really fall in love.. :") Thank you so much fer the adventure you gave me. Thank you so much fer bein the ferst to really show me what true love means. Thank you so much fer making me a happy person once... :") To me you're still the best,fer now. Ive yet to find the one true love ive ever dreamed off! :") I tought you're my last and i was hoping fer you to be my last,but i do belif dat watever da has happened hapens fer a reason rite? Be it a gud reason or a bad one. I dont care,cos we were never meant to be togeder. You're not made fer me,well you are but only fer just a short period of time.. Hahaha! :") Oug goshhh! I just kent stop crying!!!! DAMNN!! How emotional can i be wenever im tokin bout you huh?? Aniwaes,its oke,i just hope we kkud be just frens! I nid you tho,but lets just take it one step at a time... :")
Ps: Sorry fer the long post! :")
